![]() ![]() Our relationship was very tumultuous when I was a teen. I remember spending multiple summers by myself every day in my backyard alone. My mom never explained anything to do with puberty and just told me to read the box when I got my first period. I’ve heard them say I was just too difficult to deal with. I had no idea you needed to change your sheets frequently until I became an adult. I struggled with self care like brushing teeth. I was failing all my classes in elementary school (I was diagnosed later with adhd) and have memories of anxiety knowing I was going to be screamed at for hours at the kitchen table. I mostly just remember her laying in bed or being busy with 4 kids. I can count on one hand the times she has said she loved me (after I said it first) and she has never once apologized about anything. ![]() I have no memories of her playing with me, or trying to talk to me or giving any physical affection. She has always invalidated me, told me my experiences just weren’t reality. Nothing I experience could ever compare to the way she was treated. My mom had a very abusive childhood and went into counseling to try to fix herself. My mom lost it and immediately started yelling at me even saying they should lose their license and she’s going to call the board on them and I’ve never had my life be in danger. I started really thinking about it the other day when I accidentally let slip my therapist and psych suspects I have CPTSD. Strangely, my mother is a therapist (she finished school when I was 18) but most of my issues I’m working through in therapy seem to revolve around her. I’m feeling very confused and I don’t know if posting here will lead me to any answers, but I have to get something out. ![]()
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